Well, my big boy celebrated his first birthday this week, and now we've rolled over into a new year. It's been fun and hectic and full of family and friends, but now I am ready for the quiet that follows and the slightly dreary pace of winter. I seem to need that time to recoup and refocus. I like drinking hot coffee or tea throughout the day and sitting down to a steaming bowl of butternut squash soup for lunch. And I don't mind when it rains .... it just makes me want to light a fire or make a craft with my girls. Maybe it's my melancholy personality that makes me feel at home during the winter .... it's the one time of the year that the outside world matches my inside world, and I can just slow down a little.
Looking back on the last seven months since Barnabas came into my life, there have been plenty of funny stories and experiences, some that hurt and some that didn't : ) The top five might include ...
1. H
e gave me my first shiner with that hard head of his.2. He knocked me and my two-year old down a flight of stairs.
3. He successfully destroyed three very good dog beads, including two crib mattresses.
4. He taught us the hard way that his stomach can really ONLY handle dry dog food.
5. He outgrew the doggy door AND outgrew me in weight.
Though these pinpoints might make him look like a destructive beast, he really isn't and I am so glad that he is a part of our family. He is gentle, patient, needy, sweet, a snuggler and best of all ... a momma's boy! Check it out ...
Speaking of which, I haven't had straight A's on my report card this past year either. Let's just say I've had a few "instances" that probably knocked me out of the running for "Mother of the Year," but I'm okay with that .... I mean .... nobody's perfect!
For instance, it is just plain common sense that you don't mess with someone's child. Because if you do .... the mama bear instincts that take over are not pretty. I mean, it's one thing when your child gets bullied by another kid at school, but it goes to a whole new level when an adult does the bullying! So ... I discovered a whole new side of me. There was this person, who I will refer to as "White Trash Rach," that came exploding up from somewhere deep within, and all I've got to say is ... WOA! (For a split second there I thought I had nine-inch air brushed fingernails waving all up in yo face) ... But for the sake of myself (and everyone else), I'm really hoping that she was a one-shot-wonder, and that she won't be making any other appearances, cause she really was foul. I admit, it was not one of my classier moments, but then again ... use some common sense people!
Then there was that day that my two-year old set her hair on fire .... Yeah, it was pretty horrific for a few split seconds. I mean, I'm making waffles for my seven-year old son because he's the only one who has to get up and go to school that morning and he's ticked. So I'm trying to make the morning as painless for him as possible. I've got music playing on the radio, a new pumpkin spice candle lit, warm ovaltine in the microwave, and homemade waffles on the iron. I let Barnabas in to say good morning, which turned into the girls squealing and running in horror because drool that early in the morning was just more than they could bear. So I set Sarabelle on the kitchen island to keep her from getting trampled on or drooled on. Good idea, right? Yeah ... except for the lit candle next to her part. She apparently wanted to give it a sniff and leaned over a little too close, letting her hair fall onto the burning wick. All I know is, I hear this faint squeal, and when I turn around, she looks like a human candle with 6 inch flames above her head!! There are not words to describe my horror. It was instantaneous .... I just grabbed both sides of her head with my hands and screamed. Fortunately, that's all it took to put the flames out and her head was not burned at all. It must have just singed off the top layer of hair (or hairspray) and you can't even tell when you look at her. Whew! That could have been soooooo bad. Nevertheless, not in the running for Mother of the Year, but don't worry, I am still capable of handling play dates and babysitting your kids .... really!
Oh life .... it just has it's way of taking you in unexpected directions! Looking back over my life this last year has made me realize that I'm thankful for all the craziness and laughter, the ups and the downs. It has not all been easy, but I'm still breathing, so it must not have killed me. You know, when I first got Barnabas, I was really excited about training him to be my running partner. I mean ... he's got four legs as long as mine, so he should at least be able to manage a few good miles with me : ) But my online research taught me that you really shouldn't run a Dane until they are at least 18 months old. Why? Because the pressure on their joints is too much just from simply growing. The added pounding of running would be too much on their joints during their biggest growth spurt. So you are encouraged to wait until they are able to bear the load well. Hmmm.
Maybe that's where I've been these last few years. Waiting. But on what? Waiting for my soul to settle down? Waiting for some storms to pass? Waiting until I am strong enough to step back into life without being crushed? Sometimes surviving is enough. And I am not ashamed to say that surviving was my best some days. But I think I'm past that now. I think I'm ready to step back into the world of living and go for some things that I want. After all, living is so much better than just surviving. So what do I want? Here's a peek at a few things from my bucket list for 2012 ...
- Start blazing a trail towards nursing school ... I've got five pre-reqs to knock out prior to entering the BSN program. My first class starts one week from tomorrow!
- Complete Tough Mudder GA 2012 ... rain or shine : )
- Climb another Colorado fourteener this summer.
- Kayak trip with Aunt Exie and friends.
- Light up the night with sky lanterns : )
- Write at least six chapters of the book I've started.
- Maybe take a friend up on that spear fishing invite?
