The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD'S favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion -
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
He has confirmed it multiple times through various channels, and I know that I did not mistake Him. He told me that in my life this is the year of FAVOR. But on the surface ..... it's almost amusing ....
The whole world seems to be "paused" and waiting for the other shoe to drop. There is fear and anxiety abounding as people question their finances, job security, health, lifestyles and priorities. I walk into a job (which I am thankful for every day) and wonder if today will be the day that all hell breaks loose. Or if today will be the day I get sick, or even worse the day I get one of my children sick. Businesses are closing their doors ... some likely for the final time. People are dying. Earthquakes, tornadoes, locusts, wild fires .... but FAVOR???
Yes, FAVOR is what He has spoken to me, and FAVOR is what I am seeing daily. In the midst of the unknown I see God's hand dealing strongly and in favor on my behalf. And I am so, so thankful. I am walking into a job everyday by the grace of God. Because I recently returned to the ED as PRN staff my hours are not "guaranteed" ... I'm not promised a certain amount of hours per week or per paycheck, nor do I have any health insurance at this time. But God has shown me favor in that I have been able to pick and choose my hours as best suits my family ... often working 9A-5P (bankers' hours) which is UNHEARD OF in a hospital setting for clinical staff. Now that school is suspended I am able to work earlier in the mornings and still be home to cook dinner and spend time with my kids.
Favor has been evidenced in unusual and unexpected financial gifts, winning contests (I never win anything!!!) and the possibility of being featured in an upcoming TV commercial (completely unsolicited by me). My neighborhood has been phenomenal in rallying around me, encouraging me, and dropping off sweet surprises. I have faithful friends who text weekly to check on me, my kids and my parents. My discipleship group has continued to send meals, texts of encouragement and prayers despite my inability to consistently ZOOM with the group over quarantine. My mom stocked my fridge one day while I was at work! Despite the fact that my dogs have recently discovered eating toilet paper rolls (🙀) one of my dearest friends delivered a case of TP to my door step and ran a few weeks ago :-)
God told me in November of last year that 2020 would be the year of His rebuilding in my life ... the year of restoring the years the locusts have eaten. God doesn't change and He cannot lie. And when He spoke those words to me He already knew about COVID-19 and all that it would affect. So I HAVE to believe Him despite .... despite the questions and concerns and at times fear. I can no longer allow outside circumstances to shape my beliefs .... my "core." That would mean that my beliefs are as dependable as the wind. GOD is GOD yesterday, today and tomorrow. He does not change with the shifting of the wind. He does not promise and then not fulfill. He does not bring about labor pains and then not deliver. He does not speak and then not act.
My greatest prayer for this year is "God, I don't want to live small. I want to live BIG in YOU!" I don't want to sit on the sidelines .... I want to risk big and watch God move mightily on my behalf. So, despite the Rona, I look forward to 2020 with great anticipation and expectation waiting to watch my GOD create a masterpiece from this canvas!
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